Sunday, June 26, 2011

peace parmesean

I was looking forward to the group run Saturday after my run on Friday with no heel pain. Problem is that we meet at 6am now at a park like 15 minutes from my house. I don't like leaving my house before 6am. It just feels weird. 

My run went well, though I got confused and turned around early. It's amazing how just a week off from running can affect your lungs so much! Or at least it felt that way! I had to take a lot of walk breaks...

When I got home I made a smoothie and decided to try our some PB jar oats since I scraped bottom making my PB waffle before my run. 

It was a bust. I decided to add some almond milk to make it mix with the PB better and then remembered I hate soupy oatmeal. I also decided to make it chocolaty with cocoa powder but added too much. What a waste! 

To make myself feel better about my oatmeal disaster I went a tented to my garden. I couldn't resist and had to pull of the rest of the beets and some carrots! Gorgeous! I also had to pull up and throw away all my cauliflower, it was starting to have an awful lot of green worms...

For lunch I decided to try my hand at making another veggie burger from my new favorite cookbook. Good thing I also wanted mac and cheese with it, because the burger was a bust. It just needed way more seasoning or something, it was pretty bland. 

The rest of my Saturday was spent grocery shopping and doing other stuff that apparently took up a lot hours of my day, but I honestly cannot remember what I did! 

For dinner I made a frozen buitoni pasta, this time with goat cheese ravioli. It was good, but basically 3 points per noodle. I made my plate more colorful with a salad and homemade roasted veggie medley. Green beans, potatoes, beats, carrots, zucchini all tossed with Mrs. Dash and EVOO. 

While I did who knows what, my dad made Tinker a window perch! I always felt bad for her because he has to lay on the skinny window sill, so this way she can stretch out a bit more while watching the dogs and stalking birds and squirrels. When I first put her on it, she wouldn't lay down, but when I got back from the grocery store, she was laying on it and has spent many hours since then! It is her new favorite place! 

Food Journal
B: smoothie, couple bites PB oats
L: 1/2 bean burger with hummus and cream cheese, mac and cheese 
S: baked ruffles and dip made out of plain greek yogurt and ranch dip mix, WW PB bar
D: roasted veggies, mac and cheese, pasta, salad
D: WW sundae 


I can't believe it's been since Tuesday that I've blogged! This week has been crazy for me! Not like crazy busy, just lots of crazy emotions. I honestly got way too caught up in the thought that I'd have to take a 6-month break from running and made all sorts of unhealthy decisions.

I did not run Wednesday, basically because I was scared to. I felt like my food needed some more time to rest before putting lots of pressure on my heel.

Ugh, Wednesday was birthday cake day for all the June birthdays. I was also the continuation of multiple days of over-eating. I cut myself a decent sized piece of cake, but then added a bunch of extra frosting that was left in the box.

I only ate about half of the cake before I started to feel like I'd had enough. I felt like a got my cake fix and had enough bakery sugar for one day. Unfortunately, when I got this feeling, I just set my cake aside instead of trashing the rest. So of course I ended up finishing off the rest during the next hour or so. The weird thing was that I didn't even really want anymore! I ate it not because I actually wanted more but because I know myself and she would want more. Does that make sense? It's like I forgot that I am healthier Kelly and ate more because old Kelly loves cake and could eat multiple pieces! I will also mention that I felt slightly sick from all that sugar for the rest of the afternoon. I didn't even eat an afternoon snack because the cake filled me up! (but not in a good way...) 

For dinner I made some BBQ pork sandwiches, coleslaw and some beans. I pretty much just ate the sandwich with a little 'slaw on it and that was it. 

Food Journal
B: Smoothie 
S: iron girl bar, coffee with coffeemate 
L: 1/2 PBJ, pirate booty, grapes
S: birthday cake (15+ points plus values!)
D: pork sandwich with coleslaw

Thursday was my Dad's birthday! He ordered himself a fancy new camera (nikon p700) a couple weeks ago for his present so just got him 2 blu-ray movies to open on his actual birthday. Disney's Dinosaur and Secretariat. Since we are obsessed with the Disney vacations and the Dinosaur ride at Animal Kingdom is after the Dinosaur movie, we felt it was necessary to see the movie. 

Healthy afternoon snack! Much better then bakery cake and honesty I think the vitatop was better because it wasn't so sugary it made my teeth hurt! I've also come to realize that I need carbs. It's just the food type that my body craves more than others. A PB/apple snack is good, but I still feel like something is missing until I add come whole grains. Even a couple crackers or pretzels would prob do the trick, but a vitatop was worth the same weight watchers points plus values ;). 

Since it was dad's actual birthday day, mom and I decided that he could pick what we had for dinner. I knew he'd pick carryout instead of going out to eat, but when I told him the idea, I casually mentioned Hideaway and Fuwa, hoping he'd pick something I love too. He said he was in the mood for fried chicken, meh. Don't get me wrong, it's good, but not my top choice. Of course I had no willpower while at Charlies Chicken (more like even the "healthy" sides were full of fat) and got mashed potatoes and fried corn nuggets. I got fried okra for my mom and gave her part of my corn nuggets so I could steal okra. We watched Dinosaur while we ate, it's super cute! 

My foot stuff arrived! Yay! Monday (or maybe tues?) I freaked out about my foot and went crazy on amazon to order things to make my foot feel better. I bought 

  • Foot rocker omg this thing is amazing! I have very flexible muscles so stretching my calves is difficult, but this makes it very easy! Plus its a little more fun that trying to use a wall
  • Tiger tail I haven't used this very much because I am lazy and haven't had any tight muscles, but from what I've tested it is great. Gives me a much better stretch then a foam roller. 
  • Foot massage ball I had tried to use golf balls to massage my feet earlier in the week, but because they were so small (and hard) it was tough to get them in just right spot. I've been using the porcupine ball every day so far and I love it. Definitely stretches and massages my feet!
  • Lots of shoe insoles. I thought I was saving money by moving insoles between shoes, but obviously saving money=foot trouble. I got 4 different kinds to test them out, all for about $60. Money well spent! Now I just have to run in all of them to see which ones work best in different activities. 

One thing that is known to help plantar fascitis is a night splint. Something you wear on your foot while you sleep that gently keeps your foot flat and slightly flexed. When you sleep, your foot naturally curls, which can cause your plantar fascia to tighten and become painful. This prevents that from happening. Instead of buying a splint, I used my mom's boot walker from when she broke her foot. It is much bulkier than a splint, but free and worked like a charm. I could only sleep in it for a few hours before I got annoyed and took it off, but I had much less foot pain in the morning! 

Food Journal
B: Smoothie
S: nutrigrain bar, coffee with coffeemate
L: 1/2 PBJ, pirate booty, chex mix
S: apple, sun butter, vita top
D: charlie's chicken chunks, mashed potatoes and gravy, fried okra, fried corn nuggets
D: brownie, cookie dough

After dinner, I got to spend a couple hours in the kitchen making cookies and brownies for a bake sale my mom was having at work Friday to raise money for my Team in Training. Let's just say a lot of brownie batter, cookie dough and the finished product were consumed...

My foot felt so good when I woke up I went for a run! I tested out some new insoles and also tried to use the foot bands I had also ordered. They feel so good to wear! Like they are holding my foot together! They don't feel good to run in and I took them off shortly after leaving the house. 

Of course I had a late start and could only go a mile, but it still felt great! Made me feel happy and relieved that I could do my 5 mile group run the next day! 

For lunch, I met my mom for salad bar of course! But I decided to change it up and go with a pre-packaged oriental chicken salad. It was soo good! It had red bell strips, mandarin oranges, crunchy noodle things, chicken and a special dressing. The best part of lunch (besides hanging with my momma) was hearing that the bake sale was going really well! I'd made $30 by 8am! Cookies for breakfast! 

For a snack I enjoyed a diet coke and homemade chex mix that I was also bake-selling. 

I got home from work to find out that my disney package had arrived! I had also ordered my dad a D23 membership for his bday (which takes 3 weeks to ship and am still waiting for) and a cool Walt pin. I got myself a new iphone case and love it! Disney nerd! 

I was in the mood for a healthy dinner and that's just what I made. I was going to grill, but was just too lazy to go outside. I baked some potato fries and corn, steamed some green beans and cooked some shrimp on the stove. Yum. The green beans and potatoes were from the farmer's market they have every other thursday at work. 

Food Journal
B: smoothie
S: iron girl bar
L: oriental salad, 1/2 bag of blue corn chips, 1/2 vitatop
S: chex mix and diet coke
D: BBQ shrimp, green beans, corn, oven fries 

I also must add that on Friday at work I finished HP6 audiobook. So bittersweet! I love that I can now start the 7th book, but 7 is all business with none of the fun light-hearted 11 year old harry. I almost started crying when Dumbledore died and Tonks professed her love for Lupin! While I have read 1-6 of the Harry Potter books multiple times (and listened to them at least twice each), I have only read HP7 once and have never listened to it on audiobook before. I am excited to start it tomorrow at work! 

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

warning, bitch alert

Just want to let you know that this post will be full of bitching and moaning. Lots of it. I woke up this morning...and my heel hurt worse than yesterday. FML. While laid in bed and  hemmed and hawed about what to do for like 30 minutes, I checked my email on my phone and was excited that the donations I mailed in last week were posted to my team in training account! Yes! Oh wait, they got a bunch of people's names wrong. I guess they can't put a couples name? Like Jane and John Doe? So while on my form I put Jane Doe and John Doe, MD. for multiple couples (insert normal name) Jane Doe, MD was what turned up on my website. Awesome way to start the day. The best part is that I don't think I can change it. Because I've already contacted them about changing other names to add MD/DO after it and they pretty much ignored me. After this crap I decided to ignore my heel pain and go on a short run anyway, I could always come back if it hurt worse. The weird thing was that running didn't make it hurt! It actually stretched it out a bit and made it feel better. I kept it short anyway just in case. 

Yesterday afternoon I made myself my very first iced coffee and it was great! Today I decided to make another one to enjoy at work. Unfortunately, last night I decided to do a 2-hour crest white strip and this morning (and still right now) my teeth hurt! In the past I have had very mild sensitivity after but nothing like this! I feel like I have been making faces all day because of how sensitive my teeth feel! Plus, the golf-ball rolling that helped my foot a little yesterday did nothing today and I've been super pissed about that too. 

I feel like I couldn't even fully enjoy my snack because of my teeth. I had to bite the pretzels funny (well, I felt like I did) and I ended up throwing the carrots away because they were old and weren't tasty. 

I had a weight watchers PB and chocolate chip bar after my pretzels and hummus and had to eat that gently too! Ugh!

When I got home from work, I decided to go ahead and make some cookies for my bake sale friday and then instead of baking the dough, put it in the freezer, Then on thursday I can just pop them in the oven! 

The dough was super delish, it has ground up oatmeal in it, I'll post the recipe later when I'm not feeling like a cry-baby bitch. 

Earlier this morning when I got back from my run and I didn't notice my teeth hurting and my heel felt normal, I put a lemon pepper pork tenderloin in the crock pot on top of about half of a chopped red cabbage and a can of veg broth. It slowly cooked all day (duh) and when I got home, it was falling apart. But I just wasn't feeling it. I made myself a big salad. I don't know what the deal was (probably partly because of my painful teeth), but it just didn't taste right. The HB egg and some of the diced veggies were from the salad I made sunday, but that's only two days ago and it should taste fine. But it didn't I ate the cheese and crackers and threw the salad out. Then I had two chocolate chip cookies. I only baked 4. 
I feel like I was a huge grump all day. One of those days where it makes you mad at yourself that you take normal days that aren't good but aren't bad either for granted. 

I don't know what to do now. I feel like I should ice my heel. But yesterday that made it more stiff and feel more painful. I think I might put a hot pack on it. That just sounds like something that will make it feel better and help it stretch. Ugh, stretching is another problem! I am pretty flexible so stretching is hard for me sometimes! Its like I pull my toes up as high as I can with my hands or a belt or whatever and still don't feel a stretch on the bottom of my foot. 

I think the reason this foot pain is such a big deal to me is that Team  in Training is pretty much the only thing in my life right now that makes me feel like I am doing something useful for someone. My job is a joke. Yes, those charts need to be checked, but anyone could do it. My college degree and intelligence level (I don't care that I sound like I'm up in an ivory tower) are useless here. Half marathon training gives me goals and fundraising gives me purpose. So basically I'm scared to say I can't do it right now. But maybe I'll wakeup tomorrow and my foot will feel better and I won't have to?

Good new is that the new Stephanie Plum came today! For some reason, with the past couple books I have ordered them to be delivered on the day they come out, but then I don't get around to reading them until like 4-6 months later. I'm thinking of starting it now! Since I probably should not run tomorrow to rest my foot I can stay up later reading! Though the thought of not running until Saturday makes me nervous because I feel like I need to get out there and get my lungs in shape! 

The book even came with these cool stickers! I am always torn between who I like better, I go back and forth...

As I was facebook creeping while blogging, I found this on a friends' status and it hit so close to home: 

You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.

I feel like today was definitely the kind of day where I forget this kind of information. The truth is that everything will work out exactly as it should. If for some reason I can't get my foot to feel better and can't keep running then I am obviously not supposed to be running. Everything will work out. Awesome things are in my future. 

Monday, June 20, 2011

golf ball massager

I woke up this morning very conservatively. I was hoping I could run, but knew that if my heel still hurt in the morning, rest was the best option. It still hurt, so I slept in. I was beyond sad when I woke up with my heel still sore. I honestly don't know what to do, go back to the doctor I guess?  I fished around in the backyard shed and pulled out some golfballs to roll on my foot during the 8 hours I sit on my ass at work. It actually helped. Lots of stretching and massaging is very helpful! I rollered my foot while having my breakfast smoothie, then did it some more at work. Too bad golf balls are tough to balance under the side of your foot. Don't worry, I ordered some stuff from amazon to help with the stretching and rollering. 

Lunch was a bean burger from yesterday with a sandwich thin, pesto and laughing cow cheese. I love eating lunch in my car. So peaceful. And warm. It's a nice break from my -10 degree desk. Speaking of which I bought a new blanket for work! I found a cute blue fleece in the dollar bin at target. Ok, it was $2.50. But it is thicker and twice as big as the lap blanket I have at work now. I definitely made a difference today! My legs were much warmer than usual! 

I was totally stuffed after just the bean burger, but made myself eat the berries I brought too. Mistake. They made me super full. Yep, a bean burger and berries stuffed me up. I like this healthy eating thing. 

Luckily, lunch didn't keep me full for too long and I enjoyed an apple, sunbutter and vitatop for an afternoon snack around 3. The muffin was the magic touch. Usually my afternoon snacks fill me up at the time but shortly after I am hungry again. But with the muffin, I was full until dinner! Yes! 

For dinner, I made some chicken tacos for the folks and stuck to bean tacos for me. 

I rounded off the day's food with a microwave s'more. 

So I read online that you can ice your heel if you have plantar faciatis, but I think that was a mistake. I just took the ice off my foot and it feels stiffer and more painful than it had during the day. I guess now it's time for serious foot stretching before bed, I really want to go for a run in the morning! 

Food Journal
B: smoothie
S: iron girl bar, 1/2 kind bar (almond and coconut)
pre-lunch: hard boiled egg
L: bean burger, sandwich thin, pesto, laughing cow, berries
S: apple, sunbutter, vitatop
S: homemade iced coffee with silk, sugar, caramel syrup and instant coffee
D: bean tacos with salsa and lettuce, s'more and brownie bite for dessert

sunday set-up

Review of last week

Su: rest 
M: 3 mile run: worst run ever , I didn't even do two miles, but later I looked at my TNT training sched and felt better because it only had two miles on the plan!
T: couch to 10K 8.2: walk 5, run 5, walk 1 (repeat 8 times) walk 5. I am hoping this will get me to 3 or 4 miles, PT knee exercises I woke up tuesday and felt like poo, so I decided to not run and just rest. 
W: 2 mile run, then strength training, like a 15 minute jackie warner DVD I did my interval run wednesday instead of tuesday and it went great! I felt like I had so much energy throughout the entire run! I did 2.43 miles in 38 minutes 
R: 4 mile run, or maybe 3.5 miles PT knee exercises  I chose sleep again 
F: stretch and strength, I'm thinking a knee-friendly adjusted version of Yogalosophy I ran 3.08 miles in 41:48 with a pace of 13'32". This was the day I noticed that even though I got up an hour earlier that on sleep in days and ran 3 miles I had much more energy that usual. 
Sa: 4 mile run, faster than last Saturday, PT knee exercises  Because of the heat, my run was slower than last week. 4.18 miles in 57:27 13"43 pace. Not bad considering the ridiculous mental tailspin I had going on for a while. 

This week 6/19-6/25
Su: Rest
M: rest (plantar faciatis?!--more later) 
T: 3m
W: 2m run, strength DVD
R: 3m run 
F: 2m run, lots of stretching
Sa: 5 mile group run 

Be more diligent about points tracking. 
Only 1 serving of peanut butter allowed per day. 

weight watcher weekly

My Weight Watchers meeting Sunday was a pleasant surprise. I was not as rigorious about calculating points for all of my days and went over even my extra weekly points by an entire fried food dinner and frozen yogurt. I was just hoping to stay the same weight, yet I loss the most in one week I have done so far, 1.6lbs! Which means I have lost 7lbs total. I am ready for my second 5lb star in the next week or two!

This weeks meeting topic was " is it time to eat" and we talked about what hunger feels like. We also talked about honoring your hunger by tuning into your own body's signals, everyone is different. Our teacher also mentioned taking note of your hungry times and then planning for them. This is something I already do. I have learned that when ever I get to feeling actually hungry, my judgement is kind of shot. I ignore all of my common sense and eat food I shouldn't and/or more food that I should. The best thing for me to do is eat small meals/big snacks every 2-3 hours regardless of how hungry I feel. If I feel full still, I won't eat yet, but I try to never get to hungry.

It's always funny how much more I enjoy the meetings when I have had a weight loss at my weigh-in.

lots of fried food means extra weight loss

Ah rest day, how I love thee! I love "sleeping in" on sundays, but now that I try to get up by 6am most days to run, I naturally wake up pretty early now. I just woke up naturally around 5:15 and then Sam noticed I was awake and got all excited for breakfast, so I got up and fed the dogs and let them in and out a couple times then went back to bed until around 8:30.

For breakfast I made an amazing smoothie and wanted to profess my love of it to the world. 

I also enjoyed a toasted jalapeno cheese biscuit with butter and jam alongside my smoothie. 

A little bit later, mostly out of boredom, I had some angel food cake. I didn't really want it that much, but I kept walking through the kitchen on the way from my computer out to the garden to move the sprinkler and back again and it was on the counter staring me in the face. Ate my eyes creepy enough for you?

Then I noticed this 4-shot fancy button on my photobooth and tested it out for you. 

Before I went to Weight Watchers, I had a snack of a PB/nutella banana nut vita muffin. Yum! I think I may be slightly obsessed with PB and nutella, no?

After Weight Watchers (I lost 1.6lbs even though I pigged out at Red Lobster on Friday! Yes!) I stopped by Stein Mart (right next door) to look for a new purse. Of course they had nothing cute. I don't know why I go there. Everything seems tacky. 

When I got home I was pretty much hungry dinner, regardless of the fact that it was 3:30pm. I decided to  start making my bean burgers anyway. They took a little while to make only because you have to carmelize onions to mix in and then the burgers have to brown on the stove and then bake in the oven for 15 minutes. TOTALLY WORTH IT! These babies were amazing and super easy! 

I topped mine with a laughing cow cheese and some kale pesto. Perfect! 

This is the cookbook I got the recipe from. I can't wait to try every burger in it. 

I was too lazy to type out the recipe. You're supposed to roast the garlic cloves in the oven, but I just chopped them and tossed them in the pan with the onions. Put half of your beans, and then the onions, egg, sage and olives (I skipped this b/c I didn't have any) into a food processor and go to town. Then mix the food processor mush with the remaining beans in a bowl. Then add bread crumbs until it starts to pull from the side of the bowl. THe dough will be wet. Form into patties, aka blobs and cook on EVOO on the stove 6-10 minutes until browned. Then pop the pan (make sure it's oven safe!) into the oven at 375 to finish cooking for about 15 minutes. When you take them out of the oven, try not to eat too much of the patties or else you won't have any left for dinner. 

So it was around the time I started making my bean burgers that my heel pain started. So random right? It actually hurt quite a bit, it felt as though I had stepped hard on something and my heel was bruised. Truth be told, though I love my birkenstocks, they are not that comfortable for long periods of time. The sole on them is quite hard and makes my heels and arches hurt sometimes after a long wearing. Since I wore them all day Saturday and Sunday I chalked it up to this. I told my mom, she mentioned plantar faciatis and I blew her off. I thought that was more under the arch of your foot. Plus it is something serious and I don't want that. 

A couple hours later and some google research, I realized my mom was right! Instant panic attack. I can't have foot problems, I just figured out my knee stuff! I'm halfway to my fundraising goal for Team in Training, I can't quit now. I stretched my foot and iced it, went to bed and hoped for the best. 

Food Journal
B: smoothie, cheese biscuit
S: angel food cake, brownie bite
L: pirate booty, PB/nutella muffin top
D: bean burger and sweet potato fries
Dessert: leftover fro-yo from friday. 

Sunday, June 19, 2011

vortex of negativity

Saturday morning was tough. Tough, tough tough. Basically, the location of our group training run sent me into a tailspin of negativity. Thank goodness that I change emotions quickly, because my avalanche was 

For pretty much my entire life, all I've wanted to be is a doctor. I have worked very hard to do everything I needed to do to make this happen. I got waitlisted at OSU-COM, my dream school and was told it all came down to needing to have a semester of super-solid grades to gain an acceptance. I got accepted to a graduate program at a medical school in Kansas City, KCUMB and knew that everything was coming together perfectly. I would do the 1 year special master's program in biomedical sciences and be so awesome that I would have to make a tough decision between staying in KC for med school or coming back to Tulsa for the school I had always wanted. Or so I though. After a miserable couple months in Kansas City, at a school near one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in the country, where the master's students were treated like leftovers, an apartment near the school that felt like a guarded prison and many classmates that I had a tough time becoming friends with, I made one too many C's and was kicked out. Well, first I was allowed an appeal and even with an adult ADD diagnosis (I literally balled while reading a book on adult ADD after my diagnosis, how could this author know my brain so well?!). Of course my appeal didn't get accepted and after wasting the first 3 weeks of the spring semester studying my balls off, I finally received the school's decision and got the hell outta KC. I'm not bitter or anything. Actually, during Christmas break, while I was getting my appeal together, I read through old journal entries for the fall semester and was saddened to realize how almost every one of them was me basically being upset with myself that I wasn't able to succeed like I wanted to and how unhappy I was with my whole life in KC. Sometimes things don't work out because they are not supposed to. 

Since then I have been learning to come to terms with the fact that my life dream is no more. Most of the time I am pretty OK with it. Although I would love being a doctor and the work they do, I don't want to spend 4 years in med school, studying every waking hour. I don't want to then spend years as a resident on the bottom of the food chain. I don't want to work 70 hours a week and never see my future children. 

The negativity started while crossing this bridge to the other side of the river. OSU-COM is right over that bridge. Those apartments you see to the left are where many medical students live because it is so close to the med school. I had already run a mile as I was crossing the bridge and all of a sudden felt so slow and tired, but I kept going. I ran right between the apartments and the river. I was mostly by myself because the other runners in the group are faster with the walkers behind me. It was rough. I just felt sad for all of the dreams I had had that involved that school and medical school in general. I had visited the school multiple times for tours and interviews and had done a lot of visualizing of myself in that building with all my books, learning such amazing things about the human body. Luckily I never ran directly pass the school, once you're across the bridge and down by the river, you can't see the school over the apartment buildings. 

But soon I was past the apartments and running on new trails. The negativity slowly drained away as I ran away. Soon I ran to a "pit stop" of our running coach at her car with some cold water and poweraide. I was happy to see her and other runners from my group. By that point I had gone two miles. It was hot and humid and sometimes when you're physically tired, you can't quite think as much about negative things that suck your energy. I though about Team in Training and what I was committed to and why I was doing it. Just because I will not become a doctor does not mean I cannot make a difference in the lives of patients. Just because I will never get M.D. or D.O. after my name does not mean that I cannot accomplish great things in my life. 

I said bye to the runners and headed off to continue on my path. I kept running and pushed myself to enjoy the scenery and new places and things, swallowing about 395,328 gnats in the process. I would see very fit runners go by and focused on seeing myself like that. I thought about how in a couple months when I can run many miles comfortably, how I will feel when I see newer runners just getting their stride. I also thought about how excited I was to finally run on the pedestrian bridge, which is an old converted railroad bridge. It was so cool over the water! 

I made the full 4 miles and was proud of my accomplishment. Considering how slow I was going during my negative thinking and my walking breaks and how long I stopped mid-run, I think I had a pretty good pace! I also enjoyed looking at other runners in my group as they finished their miles (many run 10+) and reminded myself that most of them have never even given medical school a though and their life is fine. They probably don't even know what the MCAT is and that is fine with them. 

I also thought of all the cool things I have gotten to do since I stopped pursuing medical school. I have my first full time job. Though it's not the most exciting job in the world, I love being able to leave work and not have to think about it again until I got back the next day. As a student, esp. a pre-med, you always have a list of things you could/should be working on. Its refreshing to have free time. I would not have been able to sign up for and participate with Team in Training if I had stayed in school. This experience is changing my life and I am loving every minute of it, even when negativity strikes.  

dogs can have strokes

Yesterday's run was rough. Not like physically rough. Well, it was humid and hot out but I mean mentally and emotionally rough. But I will talk more about this later. 

I was happy that I had a decent pace, considering that I took a lot of walking breaks and even stopped half way for some poweraide. I think one of my favorite parts of the group runs is chatting with everyone afterwards. This seems weird coming from me because usually I hate chit-chat, but it's nice to talk about stuff you're interested in like running and fundraising as opposed to talking about the weather with a complete stranger. 

I got home from my run and found this going on. It reminded me of this family I used to babysit for back in the day and I'd go over there in the morning in the summer and the 6 year old would be laying on the couch on her side eating pancakes. Totally cool except her hair would be in the syrup on her plate. This happened multiple times. 

After a few minutes home, I decided to take all the dogs for a walk. We went for some nice long loops up and down the hills of our neighborhood. Everything was going fine, it was hot, but not too hot and even though I was sweating a lot everyone seemed well. We were at the top of hill and on the way home when a scary thing happened. I was looking around at the dogs, I love to watch them while we walk because they are always so smiley and happy, when I noticed that Penny was walking funny. She usually walks with her head kind of low like she is ready to track a smell, but all of a sudden she was walking with her head really high and legs sticking out straight in front her her, like how our mini schnauzer walks. Very out of character for her. I thought maybe he was her poop bag holder on her collar bothering her. (Since she is the one who poops all over the neighborhood, she can carry her bag holder.) I bent down to take her collar off (she wears a slip leash) when she started doing a weird head tilt and acting kind of dazed and confused as well as other physical symptoms. I immediately scooped her up and we quickly headed home. We were only about 1/4 of a mile from home and once we got home, she was walking and acting totally normal. We decided that she might have had a TIA stroke (transient ischemic attack, aka "mini-stroke", symptoms usually resolve within minutes) that was probably heat induced since it was so hot in the sun and she has double fur! Dog strokes are pretty rare and there is nothing really that the vet can do, so we did not take her in. She is about 12 years old, but I think her breed (blue-heeler mix) can live to be 15+. The only problem is that we are not wary to take her on walks in the sun. She is very upset about this as she loves adventures more than anything. We will probably just stick to super short, just around the block walks to keep her appeased. It was quite an terrifying experience and really helped to put things into perspective in my head about what kind of situations a worth fretting over and which are not. Penny, I love you so much and know our house would never be the same without you! I am so glad you are OK!

After that horrible walk experience I was ready for breakfast! Smoothie and wafflewich! 

Tinkerbell enjoyed my shoes while I blog stalked and ate breakfast. 

Soon she grew tired of my shoes and went back to the window. I promise I am not a bad cat-mom and her food bowl is not always so messy! 

Later was a trip to the grocery where far too much money was spent and I got mucho baking supplies for my team in training fundrasing bake sale I am planning for friday. I also bought some more TNT grapes, aka the best grapes in the history of the world. They always "pop"!

A little later when I went to change my sheets, Tinker was relaxing on my pillow. She got super upset that I made her move. 

Once it was time for dinner, I went to the garden to get some beets to shred for a giant cobb salad! 

I love raw beets and I double super love how colorful and gorgeous they are! 

I also shredded some carrots and just love the color combination of the red beets and orange carrots. Not only do I feel like I am eating lots of healthy vitamins and minerals, but I actually love those colors in general, gorgeous! 

I decorated my cobb salad in rows, but after I finished, I realized I forgot the avocado, so it messed up the pretty rows of toppings. I did a little cabbage, beets, carrots, bacon, beans, HB eggs, sprouts, orange/green bell peppers and sprouts all on top of garden fresh lettuce! With some grapes and cheese and crackers on the side. 

Once I sat down and topped it with ranch and started mixing, I figured there was no way I could eat this huge pile of produce, but boy was I wrong! I ate every little bite! I must be turning in to Hungry Runner Girl and her mad produce eating abilities!

For dessert I enjoyed some angel food cake, which I totally eat by hand, no utensils or plates necessary! 

Food Journal:
prerun: 1/4 cup plain oatmeal
B: smoothie and nutella/PB wafflewich
L: 1/2 veggie burger w/ sprouts, hummus, lettuce and some pirates booty and raspberries
While at target: Iron Girl cocoa bar, brownie bite and pizza sample
S: jalapeno cheese biscuit from local bakery
D: cobb salad, HB egg, bacon, avocado, ranch, cheese and crackers
Dessert: angel food cake, 2 pieces 

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