Saturday, May 30, 2009

living on tulsa time

Home for the weekend! There was just too much stuff that I needed from home to postpone the trip to next weekend. I thought I only needed a couple very important items, but the front room is now full of all the crap I want to bring back to OKC.

Currently I am crafting!! I'm getting ready to make some fabric bowls from the book my aunt gave me. Since I have no desire to lug my sewing machine to OKC, I have to do all sewing crafts while home. I'll post pics once I'm done! I'm also gonna make a throw pillow out of an old Tshirt from Splash Mountian; I bought fabric that kind of looks like water for the backing so we'll see how that goes.

Yesterday when I got home, I could not stop talking about my lab! I can't wait for shadowing in clinicals on monday and then to start my project on tuesday! Haha, this is the first job I've actually loved going to!

"Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment." --Eckhart Tolle

Friday, May 29, 2009

Last day of orientation, phew!! I have to just say how grateful I am that I was assigned to this particular lab, pediatric rheumatology. Its a shared lab between Dr. O'Neil and Dr. Jarvis. Dr. O'Neil is my mentor and she does work on pediatric lupus while Dr. Jarvis does work on pediatric arthritis. Dr. Jarvis has two post docs or maybe phd students, im not sure, a 2nd year med student and another summer reserch kid in the lab while Dr. O'Neil has two post bac research assitants, a 2nd year med student and me! Everyone in the lab is so much fun and soooo laid back, which is wonderful and amazing. We dont have to come in until 9 and assuming we get all our work done, we get to leave around 4. I hear the stories from other students who have been given huge stacks of papers to read and have to be in their lab from 8 or 9 until 6 and have to once again say how lucky I am for my assignment. I really think if I'd been in a stricter lab, it would kind of killed my spirit for research, haha.

I absolutely love the OUHSC campus. My lab is in the Basic Sciences Education Building (College of Medicine) and I have to say that working the the med school building is very motivational for me! I have so many questions about med school (specifically OU) and the application in general and am so grateful that Erin (the 2nd year) is here to answer them all. I've only spoked to Dr. O'Neil once (she's on attending this week at the hospital) but next week I will get to see her much more often. Dr. Jarvis has been a great foster mentor. He is so much fun. His appearance is they typical, old-white-guy-professor. He has a bow tie and glasses but walks around singing rap songs and speaking in hip-hop lingo. He also likes to do the fist bump as a greeting.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

life after dark

Moving day tomorrow (well, later today). Packing isnt so bad when it all has to go, but it's difficult for me to go through all my stuff and decide what I'll need for a couple months and what can stay. The apartments have visiting hours for boys and a no alcohol policy. Therefore it will be just like living here in tulsa with the parents. (Not that my parents would care if I had boys or friends over, but since most everyone in my classes are either married with kids or act like they're 19, there aren't many friends to be had here). Yep, thats right, I moved back in with the parents. I dont really mind living at home. I'm an only child whose parents both work full time, so I get the house to myself a lot. Plus I love to cook and now there's someone to eat all the food. But I've lived here for almost a year and when I moved it I thought that would be how long I'd stay here, well now its looking like another year. I feel like I'm standing on the edge between falling into a slump and knowing my future plans and goals.

Usually I love summer, but this summer I am scared. I'm scared because I read my summer research proposal for OUHSC and have no idea what it says. Its like martian language. I've been told by previously chosen summer students this is to be expected and not to worry. The Mentors and host labs understand we are not PhDs in immunology, but I still worry. I don't want to be that one student that had to be spoon fed the entire summer. I'm scared because I've been assigned a roommate for my apartment. Not a big deal right? It is for me. Quite honestly I have no idea how to make small talk and am not very good a making friends. I never know what to talk about. It's gotten worse since I stopped (or at least slowed down) my gossiping. I'm scared because I really truely have to apply to medical this summer and take the mcat july 2. Well, I think I have to apply. I am still uncertian what I want to do with the rest of my life. I dont know if I want to be a doctor or not. Am I just scared to not get an acceptance or scared to fail out if I do get accepted? That would be humiliating. There is so much to do and I still dont know. Applications open June 1 and I still havent written my personal statement. True story. I have also not studied very much for the mcat. Am I setting myself up for failure? Perhaps. Mostly I am just scared of change. There will be new expectations for me this summer. I have to actually remember all the stuff I "learned" for my degree. I have to enter the grown-up world (sort of). I have a real job with actual expectations other than bringing people food. I truely believe all that stuff about how everything happens for a reason, your life is your responsibility and that every experience is there to teach you something.

We'll see how it goes.

p.s. I am totally stealing Callie's quote and picture idea!

And if tonight my soul may find her peacein sleep, and sink in good oblivion,and in the morning wake like a new-opened flowerthen I have been dipped again in God, and new-created.~D.H. Lawrence
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